Birthday Behavior

Hello everyone and welcome back to MorganneRach.

Today is a special day because its my twenty third birthday! I cannot believe I am twenty three years old, you guys. Also, that my birthday has arrived so quickly this year. Time is flying but also moving slow, does anyone else feel like that?

I thought it would be a great way to tribute to my twenty three years of life by writing twenty three lessons I’ve learned over the course of my life this far. So no, this will not be a fashion related post, although I will link all items to this birthday look down below.

Let’s go!

1.Put yourself first

This is something I still am working on myself and have been for what seems like forever now. Its so much easier said then done, but so important to remember. Putting yourself first in all aspects of life such as work, relationships, friendships is not selfish but necessary.  I have always been a “yes man” or “people pleaser” so making sure I stand up for myself and putting my foot down in certain situations has been such a freeing feeling and something I encourage you all to embrace. I continue to strive towards this in everyday life. Just remember you matter, and you are always worth putting first in your own life.

2.Friend break up’s hurt too and that’s okay

I feel like I should be an expert on this topic because I have gone though so many friendship break ups. Now in my adult life, I have come to terms with not having friends I thought I would carry though life with me. It hurts and it is okay ,let it hurt. I’ve learned that it is okay to let go of friendships that cause more harm than good. People come in seasons for a reason. It doesn’t always feel good, but setting boundaries with people who take advantage or do not reciprocate a true authentic friendship is not always worth your effort and that’s okay.

3.Get out of your own way 

I have brainstormed so many different ideas over the past few years. That may be business, hobbies or career ideas that I get super passionate about. I have learned to not bottle up and toss ideas to the side. I am now starting to take leaps and next steps in order to make my dreams come true. Sometimes this can feel uncomfortable. Most times, this feels uncomfortable. But getting out of your own way and having confidence in yourself to do something is the key in order to move forward in your life’s mission and to get out of your own dang way. This year I took my own advice and launched my very own apparel line for all abilities. I combined my two passions, special needs and fashion and dived in head first and finally launched this year. This idea has been something I’ve been wanting to do for, what seems like forever. Taking that next step and putting in the work to make this idea come to life has been so rewarding.

4. Make time for what you love

Making time for things that I love has been such a freeing feeling. Because I do work a nine to five job, making time for activities and simple routines is so necessary for me and my lifestyle. I grew up playing soccer, and LOVE soccer. It has always been a part of who I am. I joined an indoor coed league that allows me time and space for something that I love. It has brought me not only the freedom of doing what I love, but beautiful friendships and a great workout. Branch out and do what you love. Going back to number one, always making time for yourself. Your needs matter and you are important. You are not your nine to five or the clothes you wear, but the person you bloom on the inside.

5. Grieve your own way

This is never something I thought or still think I am in a position to be giving advice on or even speak towards but I giving my own spin on how grieve has recently entered my life and how I dealt with it, and continue to do so can possibly help someone else. I recently lost my sweet Uncle this past August. Someone who I was very close to in my childhood into young adult life. This is my first experience with death in my family. I was numb for a long time. I didn’t know how to process his death or how to help my family grieve and mourn his death. Although it wasn’t my job, he was my dads twin. Being there for my dad and watching his experience the death of his brother was painful to witness.  I am very good at hiding how I feel and bottling up how I feel until I am alone and can lash out, freely. Grieve comes in waves. Grieve looks different for everyone. But, I let my emotion show. I took everything I felt and projected it into the world. I cried, for days and continue to cry and when I do, I let it happen. I don’t hold back. I take time out of my day to be there for myself and let myself feel any emotion I have towards the situation. I’ve been mad, at myself, at the world. I’ve laughed and have been extremely happy, thinking about memories that included him (he was such a goofy guy). Even when you are broken and hurt, try not to hide and be fearful to show your emotion. Even in a new season, I am still learning on how to grieve his death but what I do remind myself everyday, is that it is okay to feel.

6. Cherish people who cherish you

This seems like common sense right? I mean obviously, this should be true and a rule that is to be followed by everyone. But, this piece of advice has taken me forever to grasp. Like mentioned before, I am always trying to please others. I put any and everyone above myself. Yes, it is just second nature to me and no it is not always a bad thing but I have gotten myself in a whirlwind of hurt by doing this. If you can relate on any level, keep reading. Starting all the way back to elementary school, I have adapted to friends and close people in my life’s behavior. For example, my best friend in elementary school wore make up and eyeliner, so what did I do? Wore make up and eyeliner.  I looked up to her, and wanted to be her and from a young age, wanted to be liked so badly. I carried this trait through many seasons and friendships. I went out of my way for people who saw me as nothing more than an average friend. From sending “checking up” texts to dropping flowers and coffee off on door steps to supporting emotionally through hardships. I has always there, ready to help and be supportive. In every friendship I have carried, that feeling has rarely felt reciprocated. I ignored this and continued to push forth my energy into relationships and friendships that didn’t deserve it. Moral of the story, don’t let people take advantage of you. It’s so easy to be blind to this idea. Know your worth and who is worth investing your time into. It has taken me twenty three years to find people worth investing my time into. I am grateful for friendships that taught be lessons. Take a step back and look closely at relationships and friendships you are investing time into. Do you feel the same energy being projected, as you are putting into someone. Always a good question to ask yourself.

7. Being different is cool 

Obviously this is such an obvious statement and we are all different in our own ways but embracing your passions and how you are different is so important.  Since blogging I have put myself “out there” in many ways. Expressing who you are and being bold about what makes you, you often leads to beautiful destinations in life. I say go full force into any secondary ideas and hobbies or interests you may have that seem a bit out there. GO FOR IT. Being different is cool, and always will be.

8.Make time for family

This is something I have perfected this year, because my schedule has been so different this year, I have made it my mission to be around family. Although, I come from a separated but loving family I still make every effort I have to make sure everyone feels seen, heard and loved. I know this is not the same for everyone, and it is not easy for everyone. But making time to check on those closest to you and your loved ones, is forever important. I think this year has taught all of us, so many lessons. But, knowing that nothing in life is guaranteed and spending time to make sure those you love, know it holds importance.

9. Prioritize your health 

Going back to making time for you means making time for your health, DUH. I have an extreme, (okay not extreme) but a huge dislike for the dentist, doctor and anything in between. But, I have made it a goal to prioritize my health and make my health something that I take more seriously. Anyone who knows me personally is probably rolling their eyes right now, because I am the known hypochondriac. I worry and stress about any and everything that involves health. If you are anything like me, we are in this together. But I have learned to calm my crazy thoughts, to stress less and make appointments when needed and move on with my life. Health is never something that should cause you immense worry, but making it a top priority is never a bad idea. Schedule those appointments ladies!

10. Stress Less

Piggy backing off of number nine lets talk about stress. Boy, I am no where near an expert on this topic because I am a stress mess all the way down to the definition (if there is a definition of a stress mess). But I have narrowed down a few ways that I have found to stress less. One, being to calm myself down. Calm my thoughts, my actions and emotion. This is not always possible and doable but stopping yourself in your tracks and calming yourself down (however that may look) is my first step. Next, is narrowing down the “what” what is stressing you out. For me actually identifying what is stressing me out makes me feel better, almost right away. Next is coming up with simple solutions. Stress, has always been a part of who I am. I know stress is very common and hard to avoid. Also reducing stress by taking time out of your busy day to rest, do what makes you happy and allow time for YOU to relax.

11. Not having a direction in life is normal

This is a very recent season of life I am in, so I wanted to touch on this a bit for anyone who may be in my position or have similar thoughts. I have not gone to college. I have not taken any college courses. Of course, this feeling has made me feel less than and behind. Not everyone’s journey is the same, and that has been something that I have had to repeat to myself over and over. I have not gone the traditional route in life, and that’s okay. If your situation is similar to mine, know that it is okay. I am in what I like to describe as a “gray” period. I feel anxious, worried, unstable and upset. I don’t have a chosen career, I don’t know what I want to do or where I’m going. But, this feeling is growth, this feeling is okay. Take chances, don’t hold back and don’t be too hard on yourself. You got this girl!

12. Speak your mind

2020 has given us as a population lots to talk about right? From a global pandemic to injustice to racial movements. I have used my “platform” in many ways to speak my mind. I have expressed myself via social media, work conferences and within my family home. I encourage you, no matter who you are to speak your mind. Your opinion matters and what you have to say matters. I have never been one to bring up politics or to debate about topics like this (although I should have a long long time ago). It’s never too late to educate yourself, learn, grow and speak up. The world can be scary and not everyone is going to agree with you. But do not be afraid to speak your mind and advocate for what you believe. No matter what age, sex, religion or race, YOU MATTER.PERIOD. Also #arrestthecopswhokilledbreonnataylor. Sign petition HERE.

13.Change is healthy 

I am a Virgo, and I do not like change. I am  a classic Virgo in the sense that I appreciate order, organization and routine. I have taken a long time to be okay with change. I have encountered a lot of change this year, so this was an absolute growing and uncomfortable year for me.  I have moved out (which I am loving). I have taken on becoming and Aunt (which I am loving). I have taken on new tasks within my job and my hobbies. And of course a global pandemic and 2020 in general was a tornado of change within itself. Change is good, change is healthy and change allows us to grow and discover what we are capable of. Always look for opportunities for healthy change no matter how uncomfortable it can be. I have come to terms that being uncomfortable is necessary in order to grow.

14. Own your independence 

I have always, for as long as I can remember, even to a cretin extent to this day, have been dependent on someone else. I have amazing parents who I have depended on emotionally until I was old enough to date. Looking back on my dating life, I feel as though I have never been single. That’s so hard to hear but its so important, contributing to the person I am today. I always felt like my happiness and self worth needed to be housed by someone else. I felt like I could never be alone or without a boyfriend which is so untrue.  In three simple words, own your independence. Treasure your independence because it feels so damn good. Entering adult life, I have broken free of that feeling of letting my insecurities win and my emotions needing to be validated. Your independence belongs to you, never forget that.

15.Your “flaws” do not define you

Boy, is this a hard concept to get on board with. At least for me, this is and continues to be such a struggle for me to internalize. It is so incredibly easy to be hard on yourself. As sad as that is, I could sit here and raddle off my imperfections vs my beauty. I am sure, I’m not alone in this. It is also easy to compare yourself in today’s world. Social media comparison is a real thing, and it is so easy to fall into the trap of becoming insecure. As I am still working through this myself, one thing that has gotten me over a huge mound I found myself in, is start embracing what makes you different. You are you, you look like you, and you are your unique self for a reason. No matter your flaws and what you deem to be imperfect, is not always what others see. The sooner you are to embrace yourself in all forms, the sooner you can set those insecurities free. I know, believe me I know this is so much easier said then done. Self love, is a long, bumpy journey for most. But just know you are not alone.

16. Treasure your pets

On a lighter note, this needs to be said. A lesson that needs be be shouted from the mountain tops. TREASURE YOUR DAMN PETS. We don’t deserve them. Jake and I recently adopted an pug puppy, and my life is forever changed. I have had dogs, and cats my whole life. I have been though the circle of life, with almost all of them. Just a friendly reminder to take time out of your day, week, month to celebrate your pets. Be right back while I go snuggle Louie for a while!

17. If you love someone, tell them

How many amen’s, for this one?  You may think common sense right? As of recently and being shown time and time again how precious life can be, I have made it a purpose in my every conversation, phone call and hug to always end it with “I love you”. Reminding your loved ones of how much you love them will never go out of style. Never miss that opportunity to tell people you love and care about them. Life is too damn short.

18. Know your worth 

I feel like, a lot of what I have touched on already can fall into this category but your worth is so valuable. Something that I am working on and I encourage everyone to never stop thriving towards. Know you worth in every single aspect of your life. Know you worth in your relationships, never lose sight of who you are, what you have to offer and what you bring to the table. Know your worth in friendships, don’t let others dull your shine and make you question your worth. Find people who value you. Know your worth in your job and day to day, you are worth more than your paycheck and make sure people know that. Hold yourself with confidence, it makes such a difference in your happiness and life’s purpose, I promise.

19. Never stop exploring 

I am lucky enough to live in such a beautiful state, so the urge to want to get out and explore it usually always there. Jake and I had plans to travel more right before covid hit, so we were super bummed when some of our trips had to be rearranged. But sure enough this negative situation has thought me that exploring does not always mean, huge extravagant travel plans. I have had so much fun exploring my local communities and neighboring towns, shops and new food. Simple actives in life can bring you more joy than you ever anticipated. I don’t always have the motivation to get up, moving and exploring. But, when I do it feels so dang good! Never let the child like wonder, dull. That is the piece of advise I always try to remind myself of.

20. Treat yourself 

Never stop dating yourself. That is as simple as I can put it. But seriously, treat yourself like the damn queen that you are. Spoil yourself, pamper yourself and  love yourself. How I have strive towards this goal, is taking time out of week for a “spa night” or a budgeted shopping trip or a coffee run where I get a venti and not a grade (okay everyday). But, you know what I mean! Do what you love, love yourself and don;t forget to show it. You deserve to be treated like the queens and kings that you all are! Spoiling yourself is okay. I am giving you the (non) permission you needed.

21. Making mistakes means growth

This lesson is simple. We all make mistakes, it’s a part of being human. I don’t need to tell you that. But making mistakes is necessary in order to grow. Look back and remember what you’ve learned from past mistakes, and move forward. Don’t get stuck in your mistakes, grow with the lessons you’ve learned from them. I know how easy it can be (I know it is for me). To be hard on myself in these seasons. But, don’t forget to move along life with grace and be forgiving and yes that means to yourself as well.

22. If you don’t watch The Office what are you doing? 

I had to, sorry.

23. BE KIND

I’m going to end on twenty three with this one because it is so important to me. I work with autistic adults on a daily basis, in the community, in the real world. I have seen lots of evil in my own community. I have also, like you seen so much evil on social media, and online. It hurts and makes me sick, to my core. It doesn’t hurt to be nice, to be kind. Never forget to spread kindness. You never know what people are going though. One of my favorite quotes is , “It takes $0 to be a kind person.” It’s so true! Everyone is fighting their own inner demons. Be nice and be kind. Number one lesson I encourage.

That’s it for today loves. I am so grateful to be able to spend and celebrate another birthday here on the blog. Thank you for all of your kind words and encouragement all these years! Till next time loves, MUAH!

 

I wanted to give a HUGE shout out to the amazing photographer who took these gorg photos. If you are in the Denver area Bri is AMAZING. I will link her site HERE. Thanks Bri!

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